Column

Men. “Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without ‘em.” This is how the saying goes, but lately I’m thinking the last part of it needs to be dismissed and be replaced with “have no problem living without ‘em.” I am bitter. This is true. But I have good reason to be, given the recent encounter I have had with the opposite sex.


Never in my life have a known a man to be so dramatic. So stressful. So incredibly boneheaded. Wait, let me rephrase that. Never in my life have I known a person to be….yeah. Tell me about it. This man, with whom I have come to have a recent spell of drama with, which is one thing that I like to keep on the down low, has possibly caused me more stress in two days than I have experienced in an entire month. And I’m a college student living with four roommates! By the way, they are all girls.


Anyone would think that four girls would create enough drama to cause the Titanic to sink. But no, my fellow man-lovers, it is the man who causes the Titanic to become stretched to its breaking point, finally sinking, fashioning a great undertow. We try to swim to the surface, but sometimes it’s just too much. Men.


What is it with men who attract drama and then complain about being the “Patron Saint of Ass,” without wondering why? I tell him, “People have drama because they attract it.” Can he understand this? No. Unfortunately. Is he in denial in regards to his recent break-up? Yes. Does he accept this? No. That’s why it’s called denial, I say. Still, yesterday he decides to call me in order to smooth things over. He makes the situation worse and my chest tightens, my heart pumps faster, and I am almost to the point of shaking after hanging up on him.


My roommate and I take a three-hour walk so that my body can neutralize itself. Three hours! What did I do to deserve this stress? What did I do besides try to help him? I swear, men are more frustrating than women who are PMSing. And this man definitely has more mood swings than a pregnant woman.


We all know men like this, who cannot handle rejection, yet deal out their opinions, to women especially, thinking they are Socrates. This man in particular thinks, no wait, he knows that he is Socrates. If only he could use this “wisdom” and apply it to his own life so that he doesn’t ruin mine.